“If life gives you lemons,
A wise witty woman once bloody well said.
“Well, tell me, Wise Woman, what should I do
When heaped all upon me are piles of poo?
Nothing you add that can cover the stink.
Side-orders of cholera come with that drink!”
“When life gives you doo-doo,” the Wise Woman said.
“Roll up your sleeves and reach for your spade.
With plenty of hard work, this much is for sure,
You’ll rebrand that dung-heap and call it manure!”
It’s all very well if you’re one of the few
Who owns a wheelbarrow;
A garden’s nice too!
But what if, like me, you live on the top floor
And the tower block lift doesn’t work anymore?
And all you can find is a small plastic bucket?
Six flights of stairs and then nowhere to chuck it?
As fast as I clear it, the shit comes in faster.
I ain’t no genius super forecaster
But I know where it’s heading
Spare me your empty, dumb, mixed-up platitudes.
If you understand and you wish to give aid
Then gift me some land, and hand me a spade
Pay me a fair wage each day that I toil
And I’ll turn your shit-heap into a rich soil.
I’ll dig the best garden a man ever made,
I’ll buy my own sugar,
Then make lemonade!
One thought on “If life gives you lemons…”
Oh you have made me smile. This really could have been written for me today.
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