Boris bought a motor
Took it down to Kent
He stuck the motor in the sea
And off the UK went

Northern Ireland tagged along
Ireland stayed behind
It seemed a shame to split them up
But Boris didn’t mind

Scotland didn’t want to go
England said, “Well, tough!”
Wales was feeling seasick
The journey out was rough

Michael heard that Greenland
Had powder pure and white
They sailed up that way first but found
The powder wasn’t right

Matt whined on about the cold
(He didn’t like the North)
So to the Cayman Islands next
Our crew sailed boldly forth

Despite the lovely weather
They just could not relax
Jacob sneered, “If we stay here
We’ll have to pay our tax.”

Liz had heard Japan was nice
Japan said, politely, “Please
Could you maybe go away?
We hate your smelly cheese.”

Robert looked on smugly
He found the whole thing funny
And while we looked the other way
He pocketed our money

With U-turn after U-turn
Boris soon got lost
He wished that Dom had told him true
How much this thing would cost

Rishi said, “This motor has
used up all our fuel.
There’s food enough for us for sure
But poor folks must eat gruel.”

Priti said, “We’ve got more weight
Than we can well afford.”
She rounded up some foreigners
And threw them overboard.

The poor UK is lost at sea
She might not still exist.
Europe said, “Well, never mind.
They won’t be that much missed!”