“By Jove, this is all they are talking about!
With one little party, we’ve all been found out.
Now,
here is a crisis I at last understand.
Tell me, my crack team, what have we got planned?”

“It’s clear,” says The Trussy, “we need to take action
What we need now is a Major Distraction.”

“I say!” says Rees-Moggy, “Now is our chance
I’ve told you before, we demand war
with France!”

Patel’s on the ball with her usual advice
Her dagger is ready to make sacrifice.
“Tabloids will be happy, I’ll wager,” she gloats
“To focus instead on some migrants in boats?”

“No, no,” says The Govey, “have you not learned?
We have immunity.
Bought, and not earned.
Ignore every trouble, or simply deny
The trouble exists.
In other words,
Lie!

“This is our A-plan. And it’s worked before
If trouble gets bigger, we simply lie more!

“Lie for the party! Lie for the cause
Wait out the crisis:
Victory’s yours!
They always get bored; they always move on!
Wait, and keep lying, your troubles are gone.”

“Ah!
Yes, you are right. We’ll pretend it’s not funny
We’ll cling on to power, keep all the money.
We’ll do just enough to imply some contrition.
Nothing must hinder our kind donors’ mission!”