Hello! And Welcome to Our Club
where your fine shoulders only run
with others equally refined –
a place where you’ll be wined and dined!

And, today, Sir, I’ve got good news:
it’s your own privilege to choose
the next meal for the British nation.
(It’s this, or nothing but starvation.)

Sheer delectation and delight –
You’d better whet your appetite!

A sandwich here of ripe rich shit
or this thick pie of cold vomit!

Take your time, and please choose well.
Perhaps Sir might ignore the smell?
Who else could make this choice but you?
For who knows what the Woke might do!

Who cares if both the choices stink?
Who cares what other people think?

We asked the last dish to retire –
He set the kitchen bin on fire!
Half the staff have run away,
the rest we’ve locked in without pay.

Shit sandwich, Sir, or vomit pie?
Though, if you eat it you might die.
So, I suggest you force your slice
on someone else, at twice the price,
then dine out on your high return
while we all watch the restaurant burn.